Boundaries for a Troubled Teen

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Boundaries for a Troubled Teen

 

            When a teen become rebellious, parents must regain a level of basic acceptable conduct. Parents should not totally let their standards down even teens become rebellious. Instead, parents should guide them and give most basic standards.                                                          Below is a pattern of Sample Contract that parents can discuss to their teens. You can make a same or revised contract; the purpose of this is to guide them to not make the same mistake again. 

Proverbs 22:3 says, “ A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it. ”

 

A Sample Contract

Church

Weekly church attendance is required.

Weekly youth group attendance AND participation is required.

School

No unapproved absences will be allowed.

A 3.0 GPA must be maintained each semester. No Ds or below are allowed.

Teen needs to be involved in one extracurricular activity.

Any negative feedback from teachers will result in the loss of privileges.

Job

Teen must get a job in retail, child care, food service, babysitting, or in another approved field.

Working in the mall or at a place that serves alcohol will not be allowed.

Work shifts must end by 9:00 on school nights.

No more than 20 hours per week will be allowed during school year.

Half of earnings should go into long term saving and can only be spent with parental approval.

Car

The privilege of borrowing the car must be earned.

The car can only be driven to work, school, and youth group.

Money

All money earned will be put in a joint account with one of the parents.

Teen must purchase all of own clothing, shoes, jewelry, entertainment, gas, perms, and hair coloring.

Parents will provide for basic necessary items like: school supplies, toothpaste, shampoo, razors, and haircuts.

Allowance will be set at $20 a week if chores are completed

Clothing

Clothing must be modest by parents’ standards.

Dressing mostly in black is not acceptable.

No advertising for alcohol, or dark bands will be allowed.

Body

No new tattoos will be allowed.

Only natural hair colors will be allowed.

No body piercing will be allowed except pierced ears (one each side only).

Music

Christian or instrumental music is preferred.

No depressing, negative or obscene music will be permitted.

Movies and TV

Each movie or TV show must be pre-approved.

No R rated movies will be allowed at all.

Books and magazines

Each book and magazine must be approved by a parent.

Friends

Friends must not be dropouts and may not attend a school for troubled kids.

Friends can not be more than two years older.

No contact at all with past friends who have been a bad influence. (Names should be listed out.)

Overnighters are allowed, but only if parents know the friend, have talked to the other parents, plans have been approved, and accountability for whereabouts is established.

Dating

No dating is allowed for three months after leaving troubled teen home.

Each date must meet parents and must be approved.

The curfew must be honored.

Phone

No cell phone will be allowed until that privilege is earned.

Calls may not exceed ten minutes.

The cell phone should be kept in the parents bedroom at nighttime.

Internet

No chat rooms are allowed.

The web can be used for homework as needed.

Instant messaging and e-mailing is allowed for a maximum of 20 minutes per day.

An internet filter and accountability software most be installed and used.

Chores

Bedroom and bathroom should be picked up daily.

Clean bedroom (vacuum and dust) and bathroom (toilets, shower, etc) weekly.

Must do own laundry.

Assist in weekly cleaning chores including cleaning the family room and dining room.

Mow weekly and shovel as needed.

Curfew

Only church, work, and school activities will be allowed on school nights.

The curfew is 9:30 unless special permission is granted before leaving the house.

The weekend curfew may be adjusted by the parents based on the activity.

Bedtime

In bed by 10:00 on school nights and by 11:00 on the weekends. Teen may read with a small book light at that time.

Parents

There will be loss of privileges for yelling, talking back, or being disrespectful.

Either parent or teen may request a 30 minute cool of time before working through a conflict.

Meals

Teen must eat breakfast and dinner with the family when home during those meals.

Drugs

No drugs or alcohol are allowed. Drug testing will be performed on occasion.

Drug test kits are available at the local drugstore.


Possible consequences:

Grounded from:

Going out

Cell phone

All phone usage

Television

Computer

Radio

Contact with certain friends

Loss of allowance

Extra chores

Rewards

Allowance

Use of car

Parents may purchase gas or new clothes

sherfriends

sherfriends

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